Introduction
After a grueling 3-year battle with cancer, Christine finally returned home, determined to transition back into a sense of normalcy. However, the memories and experiences from her time in pediatric oncology still lingered, casting a shadow on her triumphant return to life outside the hospital.
Despite her physical victory over cancer, the psychological scars of her journey remained. The process of leaving cancer behind proved to be a daunting challenge, as Christine struggled to assimilate her past with her present reality. The weight of her memories was palpable, a constant reminder of the battles she had fought and the emotional toll they had taken.
Christine's journey was a bittersweet one. While she had triumphed over her illness, she found herself navigating the complexities of survivorship. The expectations of returning to a "normal" life clashed with the emotional turmoil she still carried within. The celebration of her victory was juxtaposed with the lingering fears and uncertainties that had become an intrinsic part of her psyche.
As she moved forward, Christine's resilience continued to shine. Her determination to find a way to reconcile her past with her present was a testament to her strength. The transition from cancer patient to survivor was not without its challenges, but her ability to confront her past and acknowledge its impact showcased her capacity for growth and healing.
Christine's victory was not simply about defeating cancer; it was about navigating the intricate web of emotions, memories, and expectations that came with survivorship. Her story exemplifies the complexity of triumph and the ongoing journey of healing that extends beyond the physical battle.
A Child's Bittersweet Victory
I moved back home from the hospital after a 3-year battle with cancer, determined to leave cancer behind and fit in to my new world. But leaving cancer behind is much more difficult than just getting home. Memories of my life in pediatric oncology still haunt me, even in my victory celebration.
Because I Never Gave Up on Me
A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill
Walking down the hall without that horrid IV
No words can do justice to how I feel so free
I one so small have conquered that roaring “C”
And showed you all I can, because I never gave up on me.
Not many believed, they lose faith fast
Not even I dreamt how long I’d last
They said it had ended when the stone was cast
But I showed you all I could, because I never gave up on me.
Oh how the pain burned
Slow like seasons turned
And to give up I yearned
But I showed you strength, because I never gave up on me.
With silent tears I struggled on
My only hope she now was gone
From above her light shone
I showed her I was grateful, because I never gave up on me.
Lying in bed
Listening to sounds I dread
Screams of a child and loved ones who cry
There are too many miles to go why can’t I just die.
My skin is sore
From the needles I bore
The drugs I take
They make me ache
I’m tired of fighting let’s end this bid,
Oh why can’t I just be a normal kid?
I’d show myself and I’d show you all
That I made it through with my back against the wall
Because I never gave up on me.
In size and in strength may you never judge me
I won that battle because I had faith in me
There is so much more that you can’t see
And I showed you all, because I never gave up on me.
Walking down the hall without that horrid IV
No words can do justice to how I feel so free,
I one so small have conquered that roaring “C”
And showed you all I can, because I never gave up on me.
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