You are here


A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill

Depression, the feeling
Of unwanted, unhealing,
This thick cloud of smoke
All it takes is one toke.

Then like death
Can’t feel your breath,
A screaming of silence
That inner violence,
That kills
Down your spine chills,
Of darkness and hate
You can’t take.

What you see in the mirror
That person you fear her,
She’s all that you hated
She makes you frustrated.

Clenching your fists feeling the blood flow
You can’t take it watch your going to blow,
That poison rips you to pieces
Feel you can’t face this,
Your ranting and raving
It started good but now it’s intoxicating.

The sun goes down and the lights go out
You sit in that same place staring in doubt,
The same thing running around in your mind
You need to get grounded you search but can’t find,
The way out of this mess
It’s got you in stress,
It’s venom makes you do terrible things
It’s got you like a puppet on strings.
You can’t escape it
You have to face it,
Your hung
Depression’s got you stung,
With illusion
Overwhelmed with confusion.

It’s captured your dreams
Nothings what it seems,
Stuck with a blank stare
It’s turned life into a nightmare,
You can’t sleep at night
Nothing is right,
It’s got your world inside out and upside down
It’s got your beautiful smile turned into a frown.

It’s turned love to hate
You can’t see straight,
The negative power
Turns minutes to hours,
The farther you run the closer you get
You can try to escape but you can’t forget,
The evil in your eyes
The truth that lies.

Face it your world is messed up
All you can do is fill your cup,
With more crazy
Whip lashed and hazy.

Murder most foul
You hoot and howl,
You can drown in its ocean
Give in to the potion.

Or you can stand up
Refuse to give up,
Start for the door
Give all you got and give it some more.
The only way to escape it
Is to get up and face it,
Say your sick of its lies, look it straight in the eyes and say "I’m not going to take it".

       Who Am I       Faith, Hope, Triumph and Tragedy        Oncology       This Curse

       High School       Life is One Tough Pill to Swallow       Emotions       Other Stories and Poems