I Can Only Take So Much

A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill

With all these bombs that are dropping on me
The light in the dark I can not see,
It’s hard to have faith when the light goes out
It’s hard not to have thoughts of doubt.

There’s so much pain I can’t take it no more
I’m curled up crying on the floor,
I’m begging for mercy to that God of mine
Please relive my pain and make the sun shine.

How can I live day to day
If it’s all unfair this way.
The rich stay rich and the poor stay how they are
If you ain’t savage like that then you don’t get far,
Out there in the world it’s everyone on their own
It’s all just a game you find out when you’ve grown.

Marriage is no longer I do ‘till I die
No one goes to high school, they go to school high,
If you watch yourself then you’ll do fine
But if not you’ll wind up pregnant or working the streets for a dime.

The innocent lives are claimed to tragedy
Life isn’t so fair, it’s quite sad ya see,
Nothing will have to go your way
It has no pity if you’re having a bad day.

It can’t get worse the sun will shine
The pain I have it’s all mine,
But I’ll wake up and it will still be there
Blankly to the sky I stare.

Is there no mercy for one who follows?
I know the answer my pride I swallow,
There is no mercy for anyone
It’s not over if you think you’ve won
It doesn’t stop, not now not ever
It will follow my path, be my shadow forever.