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A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill

If I were invisible no one could see
I could go places I wouldn't be allowed to be
I'd see things no one else could
I'd do things no one else would.

This amazing ability seems not to exist
But I can feel it when I clench my fist
When I walk into the room not a soul does stare
It feels as if I'm not even there
Not a single person turns their face
No matter how hard I try to walk with grace.

So this wonderful feeling isn't so wonderful after all
No one will notice when you fall
Even if your heart falls out
Not even a rat will start to pout.

In a crowded room you're all alone
No one can hear you when you moan
Yell and Scream all sorts of profanity
Go ahead, declare insanity.

No one even knows you breathe
A loneliness you could never conceive
It feels so bad to know that no one cares
It feel horrible to know that you're not there.

When your tears fall down with grace
No one is there to wipe your face
There's no hand you can hold and know it's going to be alright
There's no one you can talk to when you're scared late at night.

So if this feeling sounds good to you
Take my place, I want you to
But only if you can make it to the end
All the way without a friend
Without a soul by your side
No one in which to confide
Forever condemned to yourself
Forever alone,
Forever silent; forever invisible

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