A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill
Misery is the emotion that lives inside me
It makes me as miserable as I can be,
The constant thrashing inside my head
Makes me wish that I were dead.
It rips me angrily from the inside out
It brings tears of pain and shadows of doubt,
This painful feeling is worse than it sounds
Like a vicious drummer it rapidly pounds.
Misery lives underneath the skin
A heartfelt anger that comes from within,
This horrible feeling is worse than it seems
It trashes my image and my dreams.
Misery starts deep in the bone
A burning emotion that won’t leave me alone,
This fiery demon that lives inside
Brings Tears of pain I just can’t hide.
And when my tolerance is filled to the brim
Over my mouth comes an evil grin,
One more drop and my bubble will burst
You’re in for a surprise if you think you’ve seen my worst.
Look into my eyes if you dare
Although blinded by my unhappiness it’s still rude to stare,
I’m like a dragon when I’m upset
So don’t do anything you’ll regret,
Playing with this emotion is like walking on a wire
Don’t get me mad because I breathe fire,
This isn’t abnormal so don’t be concerned
Take a step back if you don’t want to get burned,
Watch for my claws that pierce with rage
My inner demon is deadly when brought out of its cage.
Get me too angry and I’ll explode
Beneath my screaming comes a terrible ode,
An ode to failure, loss and pain
An ode that makes me go insane.
Misery has me cast in its spell
A mindless depression I know too well,
It controls me like a puppet on strings
It makes me feel such terrible things
This poisonous venom goes down smooth
But with a snap of its fingers it changes my mood,
I go from hyper to depressed beyond belief
It steals my happiness just like a thief.
Misery and I are two of a kind
We go together like Bonnie and Clyde,
No one can be as miserable as I
No my friend not even if you try.
There’s nothing you can do or say
That could ever stop me from being this way,
There’s no antidote or foreign remedy
This torturing emotion is forever part of me.
This evil being kept inside
Is something that I just can’t hide,
This emotion has been with me since my birth
And will follow me to the ends of the earth,
The path to my haunting future it already has paved
Even by Superman I could not be saved
Because this emotion will follow me to the grave.