Introduction
In this chapter, Christine's writing portrays a profound sense of shock and vulnerability. A sudden and unexpected event shakes her world, shattering the dreams she had for her future. In her own words, she opens up about the shocking news she received and her resolve to remain strong, even as her dreams crumble.
Through her heartfelt letter to her friends, Christine shares her diagnosis and the emotional upheaval that follows. She describes the seizure that led to her discovery of a brain tumor and the subsequent medical tests that unveiled the severity of her condition. Despite the gravity of her situation, Christine projects a sense of determination and positivity, reassuring her friends that she will overcome the challenges ahead.
The poems that follow echo Christine's emotions during this tumultuous time. "Dreams are Crushed" portrays the harsh realities of life, from broken relationships to societal pressures. The repetition of lines underscores the cyclical nature of challenges and emotions. Christine captures the struggles of innocence lost, the pains of adolescence, and the pressures to conform to unrealistic standards.
The poem "Bury Me a Stranger" delves into Christine's feelings of being misunderstood and overlooked. It reflects a sense of isolation and a desire to be acknowledged for who she truly is, even if the world remains oblivious to her struggles.
Throughout this chapter, Christine's writing serves as a window into her journey of facing unexpected adversity and finding ways to express her feelings and emotions in the face of shattered dreams.
Dreams are Crushed
HEY guys,
Omg I miss you all so much. I can't believe this happened, I'm still so shocked! I've never ever had anything like this happen before, but please don't worry, I'm going to be okay.
I'm not sure what Rachel has told you but Tuesday morning I woke up and had a seizure. I was totally freaked out and I had two more seizures following the first one. After my CAT SCAN and MRI the doctors discovered I have a brain tumor, which caused my seizures. I really don't want you guys to worry about me, I should be fine. I'm on medication and I'm home for a while. After my CAT Scan on Thursday they will be sure what kind of tumor it is, they think it is lymphoma, but unless the tumor shrinks by Thursday they will have to do a biopsy. If they must do a biopsy then they might have to cut my hair off. I don't know if it is because of the head tests but my hair is already a couple of inches shorter.
But I really don't want you guys to worry about me, I will be fine if the tumor shrinks by Thursday then I can start radiation soon and start getting better. I feel so bad that I can't see you guys, I miss you all soo much. I'm so sad that I can't see you guys, I miss camp already. I'm soo disappointed that I won't be there. I really hope that I can see you all really soon, I hope you guys have fun at camp Aren. Without me, tell Alex I'm sorry I won't get to see him but as soon as I get better I will come to Toronto and I'll visit all of you. If I'm lucky I won't have to go through chemotherapy and treatment will only take about 9 months and I can go to school most of the time. I think as long as I take my medication and relax then I should be okay.
I don't want to upset you guys and I hope you will have a great time at camp. Call me from camp if you guys get the chance, I want to talk to you guys and make sure you send me lots of pictures, you all better have fun and pass level 3 for me. Well you guys better have a good time, I want lots of stories when you get back. Remember, be as Christian as possible and don't let Jill push you around, gets old man!
Well I better get going, the med is making me sleepy and my arms are so bruised from needles you'd think I was a battered orphan.
Remember Kids Play Safe!
Luv ya all!
Baby C 4 life
Dreams are Crushed
A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill
The sun rises and then it falls into night
People you love get into fights,
The day starts and the day ends
Society is cruel and you lose friends,
Dreams are crushed by the reality of life
The truth about love stabs like a knife,
People live and people die
Once in a while everyone cries.
Innocent lives are ruined by warfare
One greedy person’s action the outcome we share,
Children become people of their own
Rebelling and running from their broken home,
No one sees better than the eyes of a child
Curious mind tender and mild,
They show us how not to live in vein,
Their innocence shelters them from the world of pain,
Children grow up and children die
Once in a while everyone cries.
The sun rises and then it falls into night
People you love get into fights,
The day starts and the day ends
Society is cruel and you lose friends,
Dreams are crushed by the reality of life
The truth about love stabs like a knife,
People live and people die
Once in a while everyone cries.
The world is overtaken by the perfect face
Artificial glamour from place to place,
One imperfection is one too many
You’re not beautifully till you don’t have any,
Big brown eyes and flawless skin
Unless you’re Brittany Spears you won’t get in,
Society has no time for real people and their flaws
So what should happen to this lost cause?
All this pressure to be what no one can be
To be a part of this vision I can’t see,
If people are killed because of differences then who lives?
Different People are born and different people die
Once in a while everyone cries.
The sun rises and then it falls into night
People you love get into fights,
The day starts and the day ends
Society is cruel and you lose friends,
Dreams are crushed by the reality of life
The truth about love stabs like a knife,
People live and people die
Once in a while everyone cries.
When the sun rises it falls in shame
Even it is sick of this game,
The world is greedy with popularity and wealth
Anywhere I go I’ll get there myself,
Kids who rebel, suffer inside they suffer alone
Just pleading for attention, they don’t get at home,
Nobody sees how imperfect we are
Pressures in life leave a permanent scar,
How can I be more than I am
I can’t be anyone but me
And I’m not perfect as you can see,
I was born who I am and I’ll die the same
No matter what you do that will never change,
People are born people die
Once in a while everyone cries.
The sun rises and then it falls into night
People you love get into fights,
The day starts and the day ends
Society is cruel and you lose friends,
Dreams are crushed by the reality of life
The truth about love stabs like a knife,
People live and people die
Once in a while everyone cries.
I could cry a river of all the pain
Build a bridge to get to the same place again,
I could cry for depression, family, and crappy weather
But even I know I can’t cry forever
People live and people die
Once in a while everyone cries,
I could preach forever how it stabs like a knife
But I’ve learned the hard way, that’s people, that’s life.
Bury Me a Stranger
A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill
Bury me like any other
Bury me like I have no mother.
Bury me an urchin that has no father
Bury me a drowned soul, a fish out of water.
Bury me indifferent to the pain
Bury me amidst the pouring rain.
Bury me pure & innocent
Bury me worthless, I’m not worth a cent.
Bury me taking all I could
Bury me hopeless and misunderstood.
Bury me with blood that smells sweet
Bury me and put my soul to sleep.
But bury me in my own f***in pain and misery
And bury me a stranger because you never knew me!
Other poems of interest for Dreams are Crushed